Chestnuts Reroasted!

  

John is a retired civil servant who enjoys spending much of his time composing light verse.  

He lives in Blackpool, Lancashire with his wife, Patsy - and troublesome (but so lovable) Westie. 

 

To date he has received commendations in local poetry competitions, had one of his offerings (‘Chess Pains!’) 

included in a collection of poems, produced by Thynks Publications entitled ‘LOL (Laugh Out Loud) with Love’ and also had one of his more inspiring verses published in 'Aspects of Faith'; an anthology of spiritual poems, produced by United Press.

 

Having a long-held fondness for a good joke, John has actively traded them with friends and acquaintances.  

As time has passed, however many similar jokes have regularly  cropped up which seems, a shame as many of them involve entertaining tales with a twist –  that is, unless you have heard them before, in the same format.

 

Wondering whether there could be a way of, once again enjoying the wealth of mirth, such ‘old chestnuts’ have 

provided throughout generations John experimented with the idea of converting one well-worn joke to rhyming 

verse whilst also adding a few related quips to ‘breathe new life’ into it.  

 

The resulting verse - ’SWEET DELIGHTS’  (a classic tale, concerning three sailors arriving in Bangkok and seeking 

specific ‘entertainment’) - proved to him that this process does, indeed work as the original story can be revived 

to provide enjoyment, second-time around  - or maybe for the first-time (for some lucky folk!). 

 

Consequently, John then shamelessly 'nicked' any suitable old jokes that appealed to him and set about 

‘reroasting’ them all.  Two years later he had completed 'Chestnuts Reroasted!', comprising 31 verses of varying 

lengths, from 20 to 192 lines.

 

The book commences with his shortest verse (‘JESUS WANTS YOU!’) which tells of a house burglar unexpectedly 

meeting ‘Jesus’.  

 

Conversely, John's longest offering, ‘WHAT GOES AROUND’  presents a ‘shaggy-dog’ story regarding Bob’s 

attempts to buy a Rolls Royce car, following his major lottery win.

 

As may be expected from a book of jokes many diverse subjects are covered, with readers being treated to further variety, from verses presented in differing rhyming schemes and formats.

 

For example, ‘SACRED MOMENTS’ (where a Native American Indian Chieftain’s son questions his father over the suitability of a traditional tribal-naming process) is written in the style of Longfellow’s ‘Hiawatha’ stories,

whilst another, ‘ALL THE FUN OF THE FAIRY TALE’ is a personalised verse that invites the reader to insert any 

name to the punchline, for comic effect.  

 

Additionally, ‘KNICKERS IN A TWIST!’ relates Shaun’s attempts to woo his new girlfriend by writing her a letter,

describing his Christmas present to her unaware that she has actually received the wrong gift from him!

 

It should be borne in mind however that, although all of John's 'Chestnuts' are tastefully told, (with hardly a

swear-word in evidence!) most of them are created from bar-room tales and, therefore a 'loose' minimum 

reading age of 12 is advised.  

 

Furthermore, as the book involves 'classic' jokes most of them originated from an era that may not have been 

totally sympathetic to the heightened political correctness, which is (in most cases, rightly) in evidence nowadays. 

In fact, in the cold light of day, many of them could be regarded as possibly ‘steering close to the wind’ by briefly 

touching upon such subjects as adultery, bestiality, incest, murder, prostitution, religion and more (but all in

a ‘good way’, of course!). 

 

'Chestnuts Reroasted!’ is an entertaining read that also makes a welcome gift, providing a gentle introduction 

of light verse to the vast numbers of  adults who would not normally embrace any form of poetry yet, share and 

enjoy jokes every day.

 

Latterly, John has also produced a 'Lightly' Roasted version of his book that, whilst consisting of less pages, includes a further 4 verses - 'THE TROUBLE WITH NUTS!', 'MONEY-GO-ROUND', 'COCK'S' AWAY!' and 'PET PROJECT!'.    

They also lend themselves to be read aloud, in a similar manner to Cyril Fletcher’s ‘Odd Ode’ performances from

BBC TV’s 1970/80s ‘That’s Life’ programmes, Benny Hill's monologues or (for those of you 'mature' enough to remember!) Stanley Holloway's comedic renditions. 

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